Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Reality vs Stereotypes

An update old joke........

First, the Fantasy....

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend an hour ago that I would meet him somewhere around here, but I seem to be confused as to where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 4909 minutes west longitude.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.” “I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “Everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've slowed me down and not been much help to me at all.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.” “I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, mostly due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before I came along, but somehow now… it's my fault!”

Second, the reality...

#1 - You don't know where you are going - spiraling out of control deficits
#2 - You've risen to where you are by mostly hot air - Lies about WMD's, and trying to link Sadaam to 9-11, talk about compassion conservatism and ignore pre-911 intellience warnings
#3 - You made a promise you have no idea how to keep - Winning the War in Iraq, balancing the budget
#4 - You expect me to solve your problem - Do whatever the President wants, shred the Constitution, ignore the laws of the land, authorize torture, Politicize the Justice Department
#5 - You're in exactly the same position before, but somehow it's my fault - Republican in charge of Congress for 10 years +, and now that the Dem's Control congress, it's
suddenly a "do nothing" congress?

The Republicans answer to all of this. It's Clinton's fault, and would have been Hillary's fault too, except she ain't going to get the nomination (unless she steals it).

Obama's going to get it.

But hey, McCain's now on board.

Somehow, he now supports torture, figure that one out. He now supports Tax cuts, and even wants to extend them. He also thinks he can win in Iraq. Adopting the policies of the worst leader in the history of mankind, doesn't seem to fill us all with hope.

You also have Huckabee, who thinks we should scrap the Constitution, and replace it with the Bible. He's going to replace the old campaign promise too. Instead
of a chicken in every pot, he'll promise a squirrel in every fryer.

Then again, you could have had Guiliani.

The Republican party of today is empitomized by Larry Craig. A wide stance Conservative. Blustery on the outside, talking God and Country, preaching fear, and sacrificing our Liberties to save the country. In reality being morally, spiritually, and fiscally corrupt.

Wide Stance Republicans. That is what the party is all about today.

That ain't funny, it's sad.

What is hellaciously funny is seeing voters still supporting this rabble. Truth is stranger than fiction.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Stolen (borrowed) from Steve G on another thread

This was too good to pass up. Cut and pasted from a dialogue about potential Fox News Dem debates.

One can just imagine what a Democratic Party debate on Faux News would look like….
“Hello, I’m Chris Wallace and welcome to the Democrat Party candidate debate on Fox News between the Senator from New York Hillary Clinton and the Senator from Illinois, Barak Hussein Obama. The first question will come from Fox News’ senior correspondent Britt Hume.”
“Surveys have shown that an overwhelming majority of Americans believe the Democrat plan for withdrawal from Iraq would be a dangerous surrender to the terrorists. In fact, many Americans say they consider it tantamount to treason. So my question to both of you is, will you as President be willing to reject the Democrat leadership’s misguided, dangerous, and ultimately treasonous plan to cut and run and will you support our brave soldiers and allow them to have the opportunity to achieve victory in Iraq?”
(Wallace)“Thank you for, Britt, for that insightful, fact-filled question. Our next panelist is a best-selling author and the host of popular programs on both radio and television, political independent, Bill O’Reilly.”
“As you know, the most important issue facing this country in the ‘Secular Progressives’ WAR ON CHRISTMAS. Now, a Factor Investigation has found hundreds of Americans across the country who have been THROWN IN JAIL just for trying to buy a Christmas tree. So my question is, will either of you have the COURAGE to come on The Factor to denounce the S.P.’s War on Christmas? The Far Left has … no wait Obama, I’m not finished yet. The liberal moon-bats have … shut up Obama. Someone turn off his mike – he was getting ready to lie. In fact, turn off both their mikes. The people only want to hear me … ME… ME….”
(Wallace) “Thank you, Bill, for that will-reasoned, and self-effacing question. Our third panelist is a politically moderate, nationally-known commentator and the author of many best-selling books of thoughtful political discussion, Ann Coulter.”
“Tchaah! I think you’re both total FAGS. So what are you going to do to prove to Americans that you’re not both FAGS?”
(Wallace) “Thank you Ann. We can always count on you to elevate the tone of any discussion. That’s all the time we have. Thank you for joining Fox News — political coverage that’s always Fair And Balanced.”